Romford’s faithful had a little trouble finding the Steelers’ ground, driving aimlessly through places that don’t really exist like Plaistow and Manor Park. Then an unforgiving set of lights round the roadworks at West Ham Station. But three cul de sacs later, two vast and trunkless of stone rise from the cemetery, and there is the Steelers’ pitch.

The game was played in an awkward gusty wind blowing diagonally across the pitch from the roadworks towards the cemetery. Both sides had trouble with their line outs. Steelers’ pack was less powerful than in the autumn, and the muscular Park pack regularly pushed them off the ball in the set piece and in rolling mauls. Micky James was Park’s man of the hour. His glossy locks streaming in the wind like a mythical hero, he scored a hat trick of pushover tries in the first half. Not many know that our fine physio Paul also doubles as an emergency barber when players (well, Micky) are called off for an HIA (Hair Impact Assessment).

Between these magnificent tries, Jamie “the Beast” Harbour showed some unexpected soccer skills. Steelers dropped the ball in the centres, and Jamie hacked it through three times, putting a wicked bounce on it to bamboozle the Steelers’ 15, only to lose the final foot race to George Smith, who scored.

Meanwhile Barney Savoll at 10 had adopted a bizarre twist of the wrists before passing the ball, like a croupier shuffling the cards at Monte Carlo. The manoeuvre confused the Steelers’ backs, who left huge holes in their defence. It also confused the Park backs, who likely as not dropped the ball.

Park went into half time comfortably placed at 0-24 up. Unusually, Park then made really good use of the twisty wind in the second half, putting boot to ball and pinning Steelers back in their 22. Early on in the half, the Park backs strung the ball all along the line for Sam Brindle to dive over in the corner.

Gorgeous George Robertson’s peroxide shocker would surely have given Micky a run for his money in the best hair competition, had George been fit. On his return, he chose this point in the game to try what looked like an over-enthusiastic tango move, grabbing the hand of the Steelers’ ball carrier, and flinging him to the ground. The referee duly granted George ten minutes’ leave of absence to reflect on his choice of partner for the next season of Strictly.

The one man disadvantage slowed the Park scoring down, but Sam Brindle eventually scored a second, almost identical try in the corner.

Sam Gyimah had had a good game, his tall figure charging through the Steelers pack in midfield like the favourite scattering the field in the Grand National. The pass Sam got now can scarcely be described as an assist, as it was fired at the ground two yards to his right. Somehow he bent down (from quite a height, remember), scooped up the ball with one hand, righted himself and still had the balance to wrong foot the Steelers’ defence and score.

The final try went to George Smith, with his trademark cut inside to go over the line and score.

The scoreline ended at 0-48. So I don’t have to repeat last week’s trivia question. I am told that the answer is that Park last won by fifty points at home to Southwold in the 2018-9 season.